Addicted or Just Obsessed?

Chuckle #449 | April 27th, 2011
 scroll down to leave a comment

Men don’t “get” women. We are full of mystery and subterfuge and many guys won’t even try to crack that nut. But even the most Neanderthal husband knows enough to start worrying when his woman gets that little contemplative “knitted brow” look. They know something is up, they just don’t know what, and that can be scary for men.

But women really aren’t that complicated. Nine times out of ten what women think about when they are staring off into space is redecorating - paint, tile, wallpaper….maybe even an addition. OK, so maybe that is a little scary.

Lucky for guys, most women don’t have the money or energy to constantly decorate, so we do so vicariously. We read magazines; we go on house tours; and when we just can’t resist any longer, we buy accessories. But the BEST way to sate the decorating “junkie” within (without financial outlay or physical exertion) is with House and Garden Television.

HGTV is “lady crack”. It’s a triple shot, estrogen-enhanced video latte. And that’s not just the  female histrionics talking. The fairytale goes something like this…Once upon-a-time a bunch of seriously smart people got together and said, “what if we brought valium back, but instead of a pill the delivery mechanism was cable TV?”  And thus HGTV was born.

Halleluiah. Raise the roof. Woo woo. Does that even come close to conveying how much I love HGTV?

My husband is flummoxed by my HGTV “habit”. Why would an otherwise intelligent person like me watch so much bad TV? His disappointment in me is palpable. But I can’t stop. I think that a show about re-arranging your furniture is pure genius. To my husband the same show is more like Chinese water torture.

Funny, I feel the same way about watching baseball.

What men don’t realize is that they should be eternally thankful for HGTV. For one, it keeps us women watching instead of doing. Those savings not only pay the cable bill, but will eventually put a couple of kids through community college. And as I get closer and closer to a serious midlife crisis, watching International House Hunters is the only thing that keeps me from running off to Fiji.

Well, that and the three kids. (I do have some sense left.)

My husband claims I have an “illness”. I think my HGTV watching is more of a harmless pastime than a serious addiction. Like my afternoon piece of Dove chocolate or my collection of flavored vodkas.

Husbands should be thankful when wives take an interest in making the family house “a home”. Husbands who like sleeping indoors should also not get all up in my grill about what I choose to watch on TV. This is especially true when said husband’s own life is RULED by Yankees baseball in a decidedly unhealthy way.

In the interest of marital bliss I FULLY support and even encourage my husband’s Derek Jeter infatuation. I just want a little quid pro quo. Or a vacation house in sunny, goat infested Nicaragua…my husband’s choice of course.
------------------------------------------------------
Get your Weekly Chuckle via email at http://www.laughtoutloudmom.com/
Copyright 2008-2011, LOLmom.com, Greenwich CT - All rights reserved