Oh Lord, Give me a Sign! (Just not Ophiuchus)

Chuckle #439 | January 26th, 2011
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I’ve never been a big fan of astrology, mostly because I've suffered through too many wince-worthy Scorpio pick-up lines. So the shocking news that my “sign” might have changed did not freak me out like it did some people.

It did get me thinking though.

I am (or was) a Gemini, the “bipolar charmer" of the astrology world. And I was fine with that. Gemini has fit like a glove for the past 46 years.  Now what? How much of my personality is natural? How much of it developed simply because I thought I was a Gemini?

I have to ask because, as a Gemini, I am naturally inquisitive.

Under the “new” (and some say fraudulent) zodiac, I become a Taurus. Taurus is dependable, patient and loyal (AKA boring) whereas Gemini is fun, witty and devious. That’s a big change to contemplate.

What really worries me is that my husband is also a Taurus, but he’s for real. His sign did not change. His world was not turned upside down. And to top it all off, in researching this column I’ve learned that a Gemini shouldn’t marry a Taurus. Apparently “earth” and “air” are not especially compatible.

This came as quite a surprise to me.

You see, I’ve always believed that my husband and I were perfect together. I’m flighty, he’s steady. I flirt, he ignores. I flit, he sticks. He sooths my restless nature like cream in my coffee. Without his influence I’d surely be living with my 5th husband in a second hand tent camper.

I don’t know what those “so called” experts are talking about. As far as I’m concerned, Gemini+Taurus is a match made in heaven.

But what if we really are both Taurus? There goes our social life. We’ll be the very nice but dull couple that everyone tries to avoid. Luckily the change didn’t go the other way. A Gemini+Gemini combo would have been even worse. Picture a never-ending, exhausting foursome.

I’m finding this whole Tropical vs. Sidereal thing quite confusing. Or as my husband might say, it’s all bull. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

Who am I, really? Am I outgoing or subdued? Superficial or dependable? For sanity sake I’m going to ignore this little intellectual catfight between astronomy and astrology and stick with what I know is true and good in my life, and that means sticking with my husband.

The bottom line is that I am very happy.

So if my husband can continue to put up with my “superficiality”, I can certainly tolerate his “self-indulgence”. A good match is more than just a sign in the sky or the tilt of a planet’s axis; it’s a feeling in the heart.

And for those of you who find yourself sporting the “new” sign, Ophiuchus! I’m sorry, you are officially ophiuched. Note the similarity in pronunciation to a terribly inappropriate expletive. Repeatedly shouting that into someone’s ear at a noisy bar will definitely get you into trouble.

New Ophiuchus might just want to claim ignorance the next time they get asked “What’s your sign?”  Nothing good can come of it.
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