Napping our way to Economic Recovery

Chuckle # 417 | August 18th, 2010
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A good nap is a glorious thing. I love those delicious drowsy moments between waking and sleeping. Your eyelids feel as heavy as a calculus textbook and you know that just minutes separate you from a deep sleep – in the middle of the day. That’s how a perfect afternoon NAP begins.

Some Americans believe that napping is, well, un-American. I mean, look where it’s gotten Europe’s PIGS. It’s no coincidence that the most financially distressed countries are those in which people regularly waste away entire afternoons in blissful siesta (and prefer their beverages without ice.)

Go ahead, call me a crackpot theorist, but consider this. If certain nations had spent a little less time napping, they might now find themselves in less of an economic pickle.

Sure, those well-rested citizens might have sunnier dispositions than us, but their economies are in the proverbial toilet. Let’s face it, if you spend 1/6th of your potential working hours asleep, it’s going to have a negative effect on GDP. Trust me, I’ve tried to buy a bottle of wine in Italy between 2PM and 6PM. It can’t be done. If they would give up just ½ their afternoon nap, the negative balance of payments would disappear.

I can’t believe that the IMF or the World Bank, the Group of Eight/Twenty, or at the very least, the non-napping very productive euro-zone dominating GERMANS, haven’t imposed some kind of nap reduction requirement as part of the debt re-negotiations with the PIGS.

Why am I the first person to suggest that napping is the key to economic recovery? Probably because I am a mom and see everything through that very special lens. And probably because like other people with big ideas, namely Sarah Palin, I refuse to let real macro-economic theory get in the way of creative thinking. That’s the American way.

I’m not saying that we should completely eliminate the afternoon nap. I like a good nap as much as the next person. It’s a beautiful thing. The midday NAP can improve moods and increase productivity, for everyone from preschoolers to presidents. Every mother knows this.

Everyone wakes up refreshed from a 20 minute. (Back in the 80s this was called “power napping” and you were supposed to do it at your desk.) It was the topic of several books that purported to increase the productivity of the American worker. For some reason, it never really took off. Americans are too self-conscious to sleep (and drool) in public. Most of us also won’t wear monokinis in the Riviera for the same reason.

I urge the economic powers of the world to action. As some guy once said…“This is the moment. This is our time.”

To save the world from financial ruin, we must harness the power of the nap. The American worker must learn TO nap. The citizens of certain European nations should learn to nap LESS. (And Americans should continue to wear tank-suits in Cannes for the good of everyone.)

How much nap is the right amount? I’ll leave that to the economists who have the most experience with this sort of thing. The one’s who totally get what I’m talking about…the ones who understand the VALUE of the nap. The ones with kids.
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