CHUCKLE #375 | September 24th, 2009
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I did not INTEND to drive the Burger King DRIVE THRU guy to the brink of insanity. He just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Most people approach the drive thru microphone and order immediately. They accept and understand that the Drive Thru SOCIAL CONTRACT dictates SPEED. They are willing to relinquish their right to hem and haw for the greater good. Not my family. My family has difficulty articulating what it is we wish to eat at the appropriate "drive thru" speed. Needless to say this irritates the fast food employees, the people in the cars behind us, and most especially the people in the car with us. On a recent road trip, the mom who was with me INSISTED that the drive thru would be quickest. She was unaware of the DEPTH of my family's issues.
1) We hardly ever eat at fast food places so we are unfamiliar with the "menu" options (hence the decision-making lock jaw.)
2) My kids PANIC under pressure, especially food related pressure. You'd think they were donating a kidney, not ordering a burger.
3) Because getting Fast Food is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, my kids want to negotiate for NASTY STUFF like shakes and onion rings - and forming a convincing argument takes time.
In hindsight, I should have known better and resisted the SIREN CALL of the Drive Thru. But I didn't, and so it went something like this...We drive up (I miss the microphone and have to back up.) The nice young man offers to take our order. I thank him for his interest in our gastronomic needs, and let him know that we are not quite ready to order yet. Three minutes later, he offers to take our order again. I place one person's order (that of my "companion" Mom who looks ready to strangle me.) He asks if that will be all. I obtain the kids' orders, then carefully yell each food item into the microphone, with a lengthy pause between words to ensure comprehension. (I have since been made aware that Drive Thru window technology has vastly improved since the last time I tried it 10 years ago and that exaggerated enunciation is NOT entirely necessary.)
But what amazed me the most is that each time I paused, the drive thru guy politely asked "will that be all?" (With no inflection or tone to convey his belief that I MUST INDEED be an idiot.) That is just NOT normal behavior for a Burger King employee who is being (unintentionally) tormented, BTW. To top it all off, the two guys behind us did NOT get out of their 1985 Chevy Silverado and threaten us with a baseball bat, nor did they even deign to honk. I've decided that people in Allentown PA are saints. Thanks to Billy Joel's heartfelt lyrics, we all know that Allentown has not been economically blessed. In spite of that these folks are strangely patient and understanding, and lacking inner RAGE. In light of my socially inept Drive Thru performance, I appreciated this characteristic VERY much. In return, I will try much harder next time. THANK YOU Allentown!
But honestly, what is the point of using the Drive Thru when all you REALLY want from a fast food restaurant is to use the bathroom?! To put it more philosophically, does the desire for French fries provide a convenient opportunity for "relief", or is the need to "GO" an excuse for French Fries? Or, do you simply prefer to drive thru?
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LOVED the drive thru article in your newletter. Made me laugh...especially since Jaclyn experienced it. She is not good at making decisions either and not a regular at fast food places, so I am sure see added to the event nicely......
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughter! and the patience.
Carolyn
Cathy,
ReplyDeleteI can totally empathize with your drive thru plight. We too rarely visit fast food and to top it off both kids are now vegetarians making the order that much more complex. Hence we have ditched the drive thru because inevitably my daughter's order is wrong and I must park and go in to get it changed anyway. She likes to order a cheeseburger plain with no meat and add tartar sauce. It is essentially a warm cheese sandwich with tartar sauce but I cannot order it that way because the cashier can never figure out how to ring it up. I feel your pain.
Best, Katie
Takes to long. Go inside. If shakes and onion rings are nasty, then bring on the nasty.
ReplyDeleteThat is exactly what I usually order from BK. Obviously the shakes are not made with real ice cream, but whatever it is fills you up and the cold temp of drink usually keeps me awake and provides and offset to the cup of coffee that I have also ordered - that is usually too hot and too bitter to drink. I don't take sugar in my coffee.
John
Hi Cathy,
ReplyDeleteGreat story on the drive-thru. Knowing my kids we have avoided that option because I could not handle the pressure of the people behind me, honking or not. Plus, we always get kid's meals and we usually (always) ask to see the choice of prizes inside. One thing we've found is often there is a line of cars outside and no line inside! And a lot less stress...
Gary
Hi Cathy,
ReplyDeleteI love your anecdotes! We have been with you for years and you have made every week a little more fun.
Thanks,
Ginger
Hi Everyone,
ReplyDeleteThe ONE thing I cannot resist from McDonalds is the McFlurry. I don't care WHAT it is made of, it tastes good. (I get a small so I don't overindulge.) But I go INSIDE to order because I have too hard a time deciding between M&Ms and Oreo.
Best,
Cathy
Hi mommy!!!!!!!!
ReplyDelete